This is a test of the emergency peanut butter system. 

 

If this were an actual peanut butter emergency, you would have been directed to the Skippy location nearest you. 

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[  BLEEP-A-BLEEP. BLEEP. BLEEP-A-DITTY BLEEP. BLEEP. BLEEP BLEEP. BLEEP.  ]  

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This concludes our broadcast on the emergency peanut butter system. 

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We will now join your regularly scheduled program in progress. 

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Have a nice day. 

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Oh, and, remember, it doesn't matter *why* yer an asshole.