THE WRITINGS OF VAN CLIFTON
This is a test of the emergency peanut butter system.
If this were an actual peanut butter emergency, you would have been directed to the Skippy location nearest you.
[ BLEEP-A-BLEEP. BLEEP. BLEEP-A-DITTY BLEEP. BLEEP. BLEEP BLEEP. BLEEP. ]
This concludes our broadcast on the emergency peanut butter system.
We will now join your regularly scheduled program in progress.
Have a nice day.
Oh, and, remember, it doesn't matter *why* yer an asshole.