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.Van Clifton is an idiot.


Van Clifton



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Tessa Kiara Clifton
"Bringer of Light"

At a fitting a Jaime's STUDIO!

- - all that matters, in the end, is that YOU LIVE through life's horrifying struggles - even if you're FORCED to do it all alone, as T&B most assuredly were (you might not ever understand what that really means), and that "IT" happed is not at all a question, and under no "real" circumstances a "bone of contention," but, WHY, and . . . 
Because, tomorrow, is, after all, another . . .

I don't even really care to discuss or "Bring UP" the "IT" in the above sentence if I can at all help it.   : )

[ Point of clarification: I've felt completely "alone" and "out-in-thecold" since I even left UAA, since I left the wonderful friend I met, as an adjunct professor, Renee-Carter-Chapman, who I always knew I could at least go to . . . 

My only "
really life" friends have always eve been "Uncle Mikey," "Auntie Krissy," and even "THEIR Mommy," A Mrs, Kathy Fernandez, a super-high-end real estate OMFG drop-dead stunning lady, who I used to do ALL HER Marketing and Advertising FOR QUITE LIERAL FREE! Until I started working for the son of her DIRECT competition (right down the hall, a Mrs. Mary Stephens!) NOT at all a good fit for me in a very family personal way, my last job. It caused more than a few "real-life" "family" squabbles.


There will be no pre-recorded "Audible" on this. Please don't read this unless you're "supposed to" be reading here on 3/17/23 ? I'm just hanging out, waiting for a "Call" form my dear sweetie "Vickie" to end this at HER timing . . . Please?, tomorrow, etc.  And this is most likely even THE VERY MOST IMPORTANT PART. Thank you! Yawp! And "AFTER THIS!" I'm ready to have Vic call at literally any time SHE SO chooses!  : )  . . . and it's not THAT this happened . . I have no EARTHLY idea what to do, and I NEED a WOMAN or WOMEN to please help me. It's much more complicated than you even thin. God Bless you!  : ) [ and it involves "Dr. Randy Covington, from ABN, directly. ] And he'll know what to do! And it's just information I NEED TO REPORT TO HIM and only him - but at ONLY at his discretion - and it involves the "Southern Baptist Sex-Scandal" that has rocking the whole country for years.  MY quite literal "Stalker & Rapist" from college at UAF is in this picture, Tessa's own mother. And she's still a "Teacher" in Washington. And it's NOT OK for her to still be around young men. Still.  And I have her RECORDED Confession. And "Written Testimony" ready to go to HIM. Through a qualified WOMAN lawyer.  From 2013.  Well, nope. I guess I described the situation just fine: PW: PLEASEHELPME I've already talked with my daughters, and they've been given the opportunity to read and listen to the recording, so, and a LAW LADY already said I could say anything I want about her - but I'd like to only leave this up as long as I need to (now that everyone? is watching? So, yes. Please read as soon as you can, and I'd be more than happy (and would like to) change the password as soon as possible? Thoughts?     - V  AND, please understand - I had no idea who I was as a human when I first started "writing" this - which was, when she first "captured" me - so please don't pay ANY ATTENTION TO THE CLAIMS OF MY  "SEXUAL IDENTITY." ALL I KNEW IS THAT IT WASN'T HERS FOR THE TAKING. TOO WEIRD TO understand.  Makes other "AUDIBLES" too weird to understand, right? Just trying to get some #$%#$ off of ME! You won't understand just how @#$% hilarious my claims of "ANY" type of human are, if you're ANYTHING at all to the RIGHT HUMAN, but, you'd RATHER BE NOTHING at all - like a "Toaster Oven." Try to convince anyone that yer a MONK after being married to a WOMAN but always being called a FAG. And, yawp, the "8 times" comment was her, after giving her a complete makeover. But not what you think. It's not really even "in" that "writing." Just a "placeholder." Too humiliating, but, I'll need to add the details . . . . .  A "motel," when I was homeless, with no place to sleep, and she used some of the money she was . . . . so I could sleep on a mattress as long as I . . . and. Jean was morbidly obese, and ALWAYS smelled gawd-fu@#$-awful. 

The MOST Important part.

And yes, this keeps getting worse and worse by the minute if yer reading, so, please keep "re-freshing" this page as often as you can . . . as if you . . .  ​ This woman, pictured above, the ENTIRE time I was "with" her, looked as many as 20 years OLDER than me, and I didn't even BEGIN to do the "skin-care" things I was doing to reverse the signs of aging (and me and my Mammy have this weird thing about us that she and I only in our entire family ALWAYS have look Waaay younger, but, um what?) ​ As soon as she quite literally thew me out of my own house in 2013, she went RIGHT to work to find a guy that looked like "Santa Clause," a kindly old widower, who was originally from out by her parent's place in Houston, Alaska - but had already "RETIRED" from at least one full-on 20-ish year career as a Hospital Administrator or something, but had Moved to Hawaii, of all places to start YET another" CARRER as the Administrator of a (leper Colony?) over on one of the islands. And WTF? ​ Jean Ann Adams is SO very good at WHAT SHE DOES BY NATURE, that she, um what? ​ Jean talked this really very nice, older, gentleman into signing over, I think, it was his ENTIRE life savings and I THINK ALL OF HIS RETIREMENT to her before she would even "DAIN" to "accept his hand in "marriage?"  ​ I mean, what? That poor guy had barely EVEN MET Jean, and HE signed over EVERY THING HE HAD to her, but, he has REAL ESTATE in the valley and maybe some other places? ​ AND AS SOON as his "LOVELY" cutie-pie wife (and I @#$%#$ GUARENTEE YOU SHE'S HAD A @#$% TON of work on her entire face, now! She's NEVER looked as YOUNG and entirely innocuous as she DOES RIGHT NOW?  ​ NOPE > She's looking younger than SHE HAS HAD ANY living right to almost the entire time I was with her!!!!! ​ And, that poor older Gentleman Caller? felt forced to put Jean (and I mean I heard he had to FLY HER TO ANOTHER ISLAND - Hawaii, right?) to put her in the, I think the very equivalent of what here is API to get  HER fool-Head examined?  ​ Maybe twice? He was a full-time hospital Administrator for a Leper Colony somewhere on the Hawaiian Islands? ​ And, yeah, HE probably went complete bug-nuts out of his mind CRAZY with the reality of Jean's AMAZINGLY manipulative "real" life behavior, as they I guess, like, maybe they had only "met" in person a few times before the, what? Marriage? ​ No. Yeah.  ​ I think maybe he finally got her on her proper medication? I'm not sure. But she's looking looking younger, seemingly, and I only "look in" from afar very infrequently, but.  ​ I don't trust her to not get bored with "Santa," who, reeaaaly does seem like a super nice guy! ​ And, I think Jean's lil sis Tammy (My Jamie's - my favorite nephew of Tammy & Steve's three boys) I think they know his "Valley Family?" ​ I mean, I"m not splitting any hairs here: I told Jean (and, again, I didn't even WANT TO GET DIVORCED in 2013, nor would I have ever even thought about leaving my four-person family "unit" and yeah, Jean and I BOTH always knew exactly wheat she really was to me, and it was ALWAYS a "role-playing' act.) ​ I told Jean she could take anything she wanted, and she took all of our (what was to me) VERY nice furniture (even though I didn't get to "pick out" anything, and she even bought herself a brand new red sporty car without even consulting me? Yeah.  ​ But, more to the point - Jean told HER kindly beautiful wonderful parent's Dale and Susie Adams (Dale was the "Mayor" of Houston, wonderful AMAZING parent's that she wanted to "Store" all of our "nice" furniture, while leaving me with the dregs (which was really just less ex-expensive but really ok) in their storage shed - until she, um, what? ​ Right after Jean told her kindly old Semi-Retired parents that they needed to PAY HER for the furniture, because, they could then, and what? Yeah, she told them they could re-coup "their money?" by selling all of it on Craig's list? But of course, they then gave it to my Tessa, (what?) to furnish her first little condo? Of course they did. For FREE.  ​ And, to top it all off, what?  ​ When I retired from my what was then my first 20 year full con carrier, she made me sign some kind of paper that gave her the right to completely empty my TIER 1 (including lifetime medical?) to her, and I wasn't ever even ALLOWED (?) to know where any of that went?  ​ I'm scared for any younger Man and quite LITERALLY anyone who crosses her.  ​ You have NO IDEA what Jean Ann Adams is truly capable of until it's much to much way to late to do anything about it.  ​ She looks so sweet.  ​ Jean Miller. Cheeny, WA Teacher.  ​ What do I do? What should I do? Can someone please at least help me report her to Dr. Randy Covington?  ​ I don't know how to say this. I' afraid for my life, just that she now knows I have her recorded.  ​ Yeah. I sent her part of that recording, a while back, just so as that she even KNOWS I have it.  ​ She told me to not ever bother her again.  ​ On 12/13/22. ​ Thoughts? No rush. 

Yeah. And?

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Yeah. And? MONK? I'm just trying to explain why I'm so very stupid about a LOT of life's things. And it's just too much, and I need help. Please. And, I know eggsmactly just how this sounds, but I knew WITH ALMOST absolute #$%^ certainty, without a shadow of a doubt, that I would only ever be "used" in an intimate nature, as a, something like but absolute certainty that my human-type form would ONLY be "used" by me, and I mean this with every fiber of my ever-loving soul as a "comfort" tool of compassion, in whatever form it might take as a "tool" through my Heavenly Father to provide even a hug, but even I wanted to anything that an "in-need," but only in a beautiful way, in any way I chose . . . there was this beautiful Hawaiian couple once. That's the only time I've really ever been "with" someone, not my wife, but a Beautiful Hawaiian Dancer I knew for quite some time, but not in any way shape or form in any other than a "professional" way, and he introduced me to his BEAUTIFUL WIFE, then, pregnant with their, I think fifth child. And I was their "comfort companion," for them both. And I'm not at all ashamed about it. Only a few times. And when SHE was ready again, after giving birth, it stopped, and it was only when . . .  :) It was the only time I've really been with a guy in my life, and it was what the Beautiful Hawaiian WOMAN wanted. and needed. Yeah. Um. What?  It was a clear message from My Heavenly Father. And, it's NOT the ONLY request I've had like that in my life, from HAWAIAN WOMEN for THEIR MEN. I've had two other requests from BEAUTIFUL HAWAIIAN MOTHERS since. No thank you. I'm truly in every a MONK unless My Heavenly Father HITS me over the head with a 57 Chevy Pick-Up again. : ) I prefer to be alone at all times. Unless I come out of my air-conditioned space to be on stage or something. Some dudes I've been around don't know what it's like to not HAVE to PAY for someone to touch you. I've always had the EXACT opposite problem. It's the OPPOSITE of bragging. My Mom is the double for one of the world's sexiest ladies, and what I look like is practically irrelevant to me. I'm RAVEN from the Tlingit & Haida. Alone. My "Contact" Page is the most important part about me. "Uncle Mikey" and "Auntie Krissy" know that I'm ALWAYS here for them, no matter what - for (well, not that) literally any other need, as they have always have been. "Auntie Krissy" had a baby recently (one she wasn't expecting?) but, co-incided with one of my "Prayer Vigils about love and healing, oddly?" Nope. I sent her over $1,000 in wonderful gifts, as she still seemed to be wondering just HOW they got pregnant (and I performed their wedding ceremony) at just about the right age? It was just too weird. Almost none of their "wish list" gifts had been bought online yet, and I bought everything plus a bunch more stuff they didn't even know they would need, and told Krissy's husband Joe (who is AWESOME) that I would be HAPPY to babysit yet another KID that would be calling me yet again "Uncle Van" like "Uncle Mikey's" new five year old I prayed for them to have (his wonderful lady is Hawaiian!) because I needed him to start feeling again after some horrifying things he had been through on his way through LAPD (you don't want to know what that little Poopie-Head McNugget has been through) But, he's gaurded Madeline Albright, and he was fully OVER qualified for the US Marshals until they found a tiny microscopic flow in his physical person. But, He's lived through it, and now he's been training the LAPD, and is more than ready to come home because he AND his BEAUTIFUL with and Child are ready to come back to Alaska, and he needs a job. And he's overqualified for pretty much any thing because, at his heart, he's still "A Replcament Pinnocchio" but he'll be healing for a while. And I've recently reccommend my Hypnotherapist, A Ms. Farrah Dyer, from San Fransicso. It's just a phone call, "Uncle Mikey!" I hope he does it. I'm pretty sure he will. I just told him a few days ago. And thank you for your wisdon, kindness, and generosity for even reading. I really AM an idiot in what I don't know. But, I guess, you shouldn't call a fish stupid for not being able to ride a bicycle. And I"m an asshole a lot. Clearly. Thank you. From the bottom of my heart.

The Idiot.

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Van's dining room and pantry.

Music & Stuff


Dudes are laid back.



Van's hatchlings liked tango music when they were munchkins, so he wrote this for them. 



Van Clifton is the proud single dad of two awesomey incredible daughters who are part of his soul (but who don't like their photos online or we'd show you how gorgeous they are!), and, but, yawp, and you can bet yer sweet bippy both of those kick-ass young ladies are in a lot of ways tons smarter than he could ever hope to be. Because,

Van Clifton is a nincompoop. A moron. And a dork.

And, oh, yes, Van Clifton is also a fool and a ninny.

And, but, also, additionally, about that blockheaded nitwit Van,

His favorite things in the Universe are his human female offspring, playing piano, composing mostly classica
l-type pieces of music, and singing. 

When Van can get off his lazy butt and record something, he likes to send out a song or maybe two for the holidays. But,

Van hasn't recorded a new holiday song in a gazillion years because he's just too much of a lazy twit
(and/or he works too much) to get to the piano and mic very often.

Oh well. It's probably for the best anyways. But, hey,

Click play to the left if you're brave enough to hear some of the village idiot's almos

And, not to be too 'Wo
o-Woo,' but the dingbat weirdo is an INFJ left-handed Pisces, so he spends most of his time alone. 


Van has been in self-imposed exile laying on his back healing from surgeries since a January 2021 accident.  


As of July of 2022, Van has been able to sit up in a chair again for almost twenty whole minutes without writhing on the ground whilst in agony. 


Yay for some chair sitting without all the writhing on the ground whilst in agony!  WooHoo! Shazam!


Since then, he’s really enjoyed sitting at the piano composing for the first time in almost twenty years.  


Van hopes to be done with surgeries and be up and playing rugby and riding horses again very soon


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